Something that many women have issues with is body size hate, or feeling like their size and shape is misrepresented in the media. I don't necessarily want to comment on the ubiquitousness in advertising and media of very slim women, but rather to overcome that conflict by focusing on recognizing that all women are real. We all have souls and hearts and life goals, very real pain and past traumas, we've been betrayed, we've been loved, we've made friends and lost friends. We need to stop looking at each other as objects based on size and shape.
I'll be honest, I wish the fashion industry and hollywood would feature more women who are of average size and/or larger. I think there's great beauty in diversity. But I also understand that such change will take time and much work, and may not happen as soon as I'd hope. I understand that different cultures and historical periods prefer different body shapes and think different things are beautiful. Granted, the body shape that is currently viewed as ideal is quite difficult and often impossible for most women to achieve. What that doesn't mean, though, is that it's okay to hate women who naturally have that body type, any more than it's okay to hate women who are average body size or more.
When we start defining women as "real" or "not real" in terms of body type, we're missing the point. If I gain weight and am no longer my current size, am I not still a real woman? If I lose a ton of weight and become very skinny, am I still a real woman? If I decide to get a full sleeve of tattoos, am I a real woman? If I make the decision to alter my appearance with cosmetic surgery, am I real? I think in all cases I remain a real woman, because at my core who I am is not dependent on my appearance. I may choose to express myself through my appearance and my appearance can say something about who I am, but my appearance is not me. My self and my appearance, however closely linked they are, are still separate entities.
❝ CURVY WOMEN ARE REAL WOMEN. SKINNY WOMEN ARE REAL WOMEN. WOMEN WHO HAVE HAD BOOB JOBS OR LIP ENHANCEMENTS OR LIPOSUCTION ARE STILL REAL WOMEN. SIZE 0 MAY MAKE NO SENSE MATHEMATICALLY, BUT A WOMAN WHO WEARS THAT SIZE IS AS REAL AS THE ONE WHO WEARS A SIZE 16. WHAT MAKES US “REAL” PEOPLE IS NOT THE SHAPE OF OUR FLESH BUT OUR BASIC HUMANITY. AND WE LOSE OUR HUMANITY WHEN WE JUDGE – NOT WHEN WE LOSE WEIGHT, GAIN WEIGHT, OR MAKE THE INTENSELY PERSONAL DECISION TO UNDERGO COSMETIC SURGERY. ❞
Hugo Schwyzer
Rather than trying to take the term "real" and apply it to a size of women who feel disenfranchised by other women who aren't their size, we should seek to lift up all women and encourage them to love themselves, regardless of their body size. We should seek to encourage physical health as well as a healthy self image.
This isn't to say that I don't believe the current body shape ideal can be detrimental to women. The presence of eating disorders to achieve the current ideal says enough about how this "ideal" can be harmful for many women. I can't speak to the harm that ads like the one above caused for girls growing up in other decades, but I believe that making someone feel less real because their body doesn't fit into what someone else deems as "real." I see tons of comments on pinterest photos of plus sized models saying "Finally! A real woman!" and while I understand the sense of relief in seeing a model who isn't extremely thin or very young, the fact remains that calling one type of body shape "real" automatically insinuates that a person of a different body type is somehow fake.
Regardless of what body you have- plus sized, slim, curvy, pear shaped, apple shaped, etc- you are a REAL WOMAN. Your realness doesn't come from the fat, bones, and muscles under your skin, your realness comes from your heart and soul. Your realness is something that glows and radiates out of you, not something as trivial as the container the real you inhabits. Don't ever let anyone tell you you're not real based on the shape, size or any other external criteria.
